Loving my haters

Hi hi!!

Typically when I give any attention to my haters at all, my readers will always tell me... "Why are you giving THEM attention? Shouldn't you be just paying attention to people to love you, like us?"

I do. I try my best to. I always try to reply nice people who @mention me on twitter and I appreciate all the love I get from so so many of you. Sometimes, just thinking about it makes me cry, and I have a big boxful of gifts and touching sincere handwritten letters from readers that I look at once in a while to just soak in all the blessings and adoration I've been bestowed upon by strangers. I am grateful to each and every one of you, I am.

But here's where the but comes in. It isn't easy to ignore the haters. It is easy to THINK it is, but hell it's super difficult. I wish there is a non-condescending way of saying this, but here it is - You won't understand unless you are famous.

If I had to come up with a statistic, I'd say that about 1,000 nice comments negates 5 bad comments. I can hear over and over again people commenting "Xiaxue is so pretty" (how is one supposed to reply to this?) but SOMEHOW, just one person saying "OMG saw Xiaxue is so ugly" will rile you up.

Why do I care if one person thinks I'm ugly? I don't think I'm ugly. Many people don't. So why is that one person's opinion somehow more significant than the rest?

I don't know how to explain this phenomenon and why it happens, but it is true and there is possibly a scientific name for it. You smart cookies tell me.

Let me tell you my exact thoughts when I read nice vs not nice comments:

Nice people x 10: "Saw Xiaxue today at Cineleisure, she is so skinny and pretty, just like her pictures! I love her hair!"

My thoughts: "Really not? That's so sweet of them but I think maybe they don't have high standards of what is considered pretty hahaha didn't they see my cankles? Ok lah maybe I'm pretty hehehe."

Nasty person x 1: "Saw Xiaxue today OMG SO UGLY PIMPLES ALL OVER AND SO FAT, DISGUSTING PLASTIC BITCH."

My thoughts: "FUCK YOU I DON'T HAVE PIMPLES AND I AM SO NOT FAT LET ME SEE HOW U LOOK OMG YOU ARE WAY FATTER AND UGLIER THAN ME HOW DARE YOU CRITICISE ME I MUST SHOW EVERYONE YOUR PICTURE."



Maybe it is the combination of rudeness from this person and the fact that he is not trying to butter you up making his opinion seem more "real" than others.

I don't feel sad when I read mean comments. So there is no point in telling me to cheer up or not believe the haters. I don't believe them and neither will I let the comments affect me in a sense that I wallow in self pity and think I am whatever they say I am. I am very self assured and thick skinned like that. :D

What I do feel is acute indignation and some annoyance. Sometimes, especially if it is an ugly person calling me ugly or a stupid person calling me stupid, I even feel a twinge of joy because it is so funny and ironic.

You may say that I am dumb because that is exactly what the hater wants, which is to upset me + get my attention and I gave them that. And you are right.

But I cannot help it. I need to vent, and mostly, the results of the vent gives me satisfaction and closure - because I get EXTRA love from nice people. And rest assured after 2 minutes I go about my own life and am happy-go-lucky until the next mean comment riles me up. Not all do by the way, only some.



But all in all, the statement "Ignore the haters" (usually followed by "they are just jealous") is wrong.

No, haters should NOT be ignored. They should be appreciated and loved. Why? Here are the reasons:

1) Revenge

Revenge is one of the strongest motivators there is. If you watched movies like Kill Bill, you will realise that revenge, or bestowing any form of unhappiness upon those you hate, can shape your entire life and let you achieve things you've never imagined you could.

Now I may not be able to destroy the lives of my haters (only a special select few) or actually kill them with the five point palm exploding heart technique, but I do my best to make them as unhappy as possible. How?

They say success is the best form of revenge.

What you must understand is this... Haters don't hate YOU per se. 

They are not jealous, as claimed by so many people. Maybe some, but most aren't. Jealous means they wish they were you, but I can safely say a lot of my haters don't wish to be me, for they find me a pink haired midget. I am not yet that arrogant to presume everyone is "just jealous" of me.

No, what haters feel about you is a strong dislike for your SUCCESS. 

They don't understand, in my case, how someone like me, so mediocre, so stupid, so untalented, can become a top blogger. They don't think I deserve to earn an easy living, or deserve the adoration from people who like me. They don't find me pretty, why do others?

Thus, they find that it is their life's goal to make sure everyone sees the "truth" about you and stop contributing to your success.

Would all the haters of Justin Bieber give two hoots about him if he is a teenage boy singing on youtube but never made it big? They won't. They just don't like this popularity.

So everytime I strive to achieve more in life, the haters' angry faceless faces are always at the back of my mind, and I am gloating, happy to see them unhappy as I get richer, more successful, more beautiful, more popular.

In fact, I'd say that they played a HUGE part in my blogging success.

Haters from the start told me I was stupid. I sat for the Mensa IQ test just to prove them wrong. Haters said I can never earn a living from blogging. I showed them I could, and what a great career it is. Haters said Mike will ditch me in a week, but we are still together, 7 years and counting, a baby in the making. Haters said my blog popularity will never last - but here they are, still reading as my visitor count increases per second.

And so that's how I say "FUCK YOU" to the haters, every single person who wished me ill, by showing them the more they say I couldn't do it the more I will.

Few things give me more satisfaction than achieving more in life than they could ever have, and when they insult me, I can go "I am Xiaxue, who are you?"

For that, I am grateful to them. Thank you for not believing in me, thank you for your motivation, thank you for giving me the sweet taste of revenge.

2) Love with the hate

While your haters are going on and on like a rabid dog, what happens? You get 3 camps of people:

- People who agree with the hater. See point 1) on how more of these are useful.

- People who disagree. You get extra love from people who like you defending you, and that's very nice when it happens!

- People who have no idea who you are and why you are stirring an interest in the hater. They go find out and decide for themselves. This adds to your increased publicity and they may decide they like you!

See? It's all good.

3) They give constructive feedback

and help you become a better person

HAHAHAHAHA NO THEY DON'T.

 JUST KIDDING!!

Thought I'd give some politically correct answer about how we should listen to our haters? FUCK THAT. Haters are stupid and bitter and they wish the worst for you, never ever listen to their "advice" and change!!

They merely wish to mold everyone into default cookie cutter unoffensive sheep. Anything that you do that is out of the ordinary will get you haters.

Most of the time, exactly why they hate you is what makes you unique. For example, a common criticism of Lady Gaga would be that she dresses too slutty, but if she starts listening and dressing like a nun, she won't be who she is today at all!

So many of my haters dislike my strong controversial opinions, but I'm sure that's exactly what so many of you love about me as well, and I ain't gonna change that for sure.



And so today, in the spirit of loving my haters, I'd like to give special appreciation to a particularly persistent one.

For weeks now I've been seeing (presumably) the same hater post on different platforms about me. On tumblr, on facebook, and even creating a lovely account for me on instagram, making an effort to follow everyone I follow. LOL. Props for being so hardworking.

It's all the same picture, a print screen of my Garnier video compared to a photoshopped picture of me on my blog and saying how I have bad skin and am ugly and plastic.

She (I think it's a girl) also seems to think that just because Plasticzilla posted an email that someone sent to her claiming I created her hate site seems to constitute as proof that I did. Roll eyes, I also received an email from an "ex friend" of PZ, claiming she had drug fueled orgies with old men in Bali, does it mean it is true? It's almost laughable. Please, we all miss the genius that is Dawn Wayang but I am not the writer of that website! I do love whoever wrote it though!

Anyway, that's all fine and dandy right? Coz usually my haters leave their hate just on the internet, and it never translates to the real world... Until this!


Via Stomp:

My eyes censored by Stomp, who didn't seem to want

to give me extra publicity lol

This hater actually bothered to PRINT MY PICTURES, and proceeded to paste them on a toilet wall in Choa Chu Kang!!

Are you freaking kidding me???

Like she feels so strongly about me, that she bothered to waste very expensive printer ink on me and then, brought these papers out with her, went into a toilet, WITH TAPE, YELLOW TAPE, and pasted it on the wall.

And that, I suppose, made her day.

I don't feel angry or sad actually. I feel strangely very touched and happy.

Because love me or hate me, I feel very honoured that I evoke so much emotion in you that would drive you to put in so much effort for me. You know I love attention, so thank you for giving me so much of it.

This is the 1st time a hater ever sorta appeared in real life, and I feel like I'm finally famous. I AM SOMEBODY!! I am worthy to be printed on a toilet wall!!!

And moreover, the things she is so angry about are so silly!!

Like duh, EVERYBODY knows I photoshop my pictures and I'm plastic, I've just about said it a zillion times, so what's the POINT is spreading that I am??

And you know what is the most ironic?

For Garnier, they asked me to do one blog advertorial and one video for their Miracle Skin Perfector.

Here's the video, completely open on clicknetwork, and I have even tweeted to ask people to watch it, it is not like it is meant to be HIDDEN??




And so the hater took a screenshot and kept on saying I have bad skin, an ugly nose, and cockroach eye makeup... Ugly nose or makeup is subjective, but what I don't get is why keep harping on my bad skin?

I already clarified in the video that my skin is not usually so bad. You want to know why it was so pimply that day?

I was about 2 weeks pregnant at the point of this filming, and my body was adjusting to the new crazy amount of hormones. It also caused my skin to be very puffy and water retentive, thus the eyes that look kinda like I just cried.

Congratulations, you just insulted a pregnant woman, how very kind of you.

I'm not trying to find excuses, there many videos out there of me completely bare with no makeup, and I DO NOT have bad skin. I may have the occasional zit here and there, forgive me for being human, but usually it's still pretty clear.

This is my accompanying advert for Garnier, and even in the blog post I posted a few pictures of my unphotoshopped skin, saying it is bad recently.

So I've been completely honest.

Not sure if the hater is blind... Or?

But all this is irrelevant. EVEN if I have ultra bad skin in real life, so what?

This hater seems to think that I somehow deceived my clients and blog readers by photoshop and plastic surgery?

And that she is "exposing" me by somehow showing a video and picture of me that everyone who saw the ad already saw???

People who saw the video saw the bad skin, the ugly nose and cockroach makeup and STILL decided to buy the product, you think they are all blind and only you are enlightened?

WTF?? It's too illogical, I can't even.

(Btw the Garnier peeps loved both my video and advert, saying sales dramatically increased after that and they are thankful.)

She is so WEIRD!!!

I suppose she just feels very strongly that people who are plastic or photoshopped absolutely do not deserve to earn money from "endorsing" products????

But this phenomenon is happening everywhere in the world with most celebrities plastic in some way or another and magazines photoshopping their models to death, so why the anger with just me, especially when I'm the only person who actually admits to be plastic and photoshopped? Wth, help me out here, I'm genuinely confused.

In any case, I'm very happy because I know that I will continue earning from sponsorships and ads despite her best efforts to "spread the word", and I know this will cause her to be angry and upset. :D

She needs to understand... Clients don't come to me because I look exactly like my pretty photoshopped self with perfect skin, a perfect nose and perfect eye makeup.

They seek me because I write good advertorials, I have a good track record of being honest with my reviews, and mostly, because I attract eyeballs. And you, my dear hater, just made me more popular by letting more people know about me.

Now everyone visiting that toilet will want to go to my blog to see the photoshopped pictures and be amazed. Thank you so much!!

And thank you, also, for making my day by showing me how awesome my life is by seeing yours in contrast.

Really, right now I'm gonna sleep my gorgeous bedroom which has most of the renovations sponsored, while carassing my belly with my baby squirming inside. And I'd be dreaming of his fat cheeks and fat fists when he eventually comes into the world. All is good.

You, on the other hand, spent your day posting propaganda that won't work on a DISGUSTING public toilet wall. In Choa chu kang. Why so uncool the location, at least choose Orchard or something...

That's sad. So sad.

I'm afraid you don't know how sad that is, so I made you a chart, hope you like it.

But at least you got my attention for a day.

Shoo now.

Furby is Back

Advertorial

Do you guys remember THIS little guy?

 

Yes, this is Furby!!

Back in 1998, Furby was the IT toy, so super popular that kids everywhere were disappointed as Furbies flew off the shelves and they couldn't get their own! More than 40 million Furbies were sold and  I remember I badly wanted one as they so resembled Gizmo, the cute gremlin from the Gremlins movie!

Plus, Furbies could talk and move!! So adorable! Till today, there are many toy collectors who still kept their Furbies and they are still functional!! Madness.

Time really flies - after 15 long years, Furby is back again!! I was invited to Furby 2012's official launch and haven't never owned a Furby before, I totally didn't know what to expect.

But after a runway show where the dancing Furbies were brought into the room, EVERYONE SQUEALED BECAUSE THEY WERE JUST BEYOND ADORABLE!!

The Furbies came in 6 different colours and all have distinct personalities depending on how you treat them!! They squirm around and their ears keep flipping back and forth as they speak Furbish, their own  language... Really cute!!

Furby now comes with super expressive LED eyes - I've seen the eyes do all sorts of expressions from being in love (many hearts sparkling) to puking. lol

Yellow Furby here is a singer... Behold, for yes, Furbies now can react to YOUR music and they will sing and dance in tune!!! Technology, why you so amazing!!

White Furby is a sweet princess

This Red Furby has my favourite personality of the lot... She is a DIVA!! Really love how the Furby peeps decorated each Furby stage and accessories in accordance to Furby's personalities.

LOL we were all queuing up to snap a pic with the big celeb of the night!!

Other than playing music for your Furby, you can also pull its tail (careful, some of them don't like it), pet its head, tickle the tummy, shake it, turn it upside down or feed it with your finger.

Not only that, Furbies recognise their own kind!!

If you put Furbies together with its friends they will chatter non stop lol

When I left the event I got presented with my very own Furby... I chose white, and it is ginormous!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Just kidding, that's just the Furby standee.

But guess what? After the first 6 colours were introduced, 4 more colours came out, and I got an additional PINK Furby to make friends with my white one:

HEY FURBIES!!! They couldn't stop chatting and giggling with each other.

Can you guess what Pinkie is saying? Well, your Furby will speak loads of Furbish initially, and "kah may-may oo-nye" means "Me Love You". How do I know? There is a Furbish translator and dictionary! More about that later.

As you keep interacting with your Furby, Furby will learn to speak more and more English - from YOU!! So cool right?

I don't know why, but I guess my Furby somehow got my bimbo personality and kept saying "O. M. G" - I don't remember saying that to my Furby at all lol

So I was saying about the Furbish translator - yes there is an app specially for Furby!! Just search "furby" in the app story - you can get the Furby app on your iPhone, iPad or iPod Touch, for free.

I don't know HOW, but somehow my iPhone can interact with my Furby!! My Furby speaks, and the app translates!!

But this is not the fun part, the most fun part is feeding your Furby!!

You can create your own burger to feed Furby... Fries with a lollipop, fried egg and beef patty why not?

Or...

You can choose from the pantry a myriad of extremely odd foods to (force)feed Furby that you will never try yourself.

Old sock or burnt toast anyone?

What I screenshot here is not a complete list, there are MANY more interesting things you can feed Furby, and all you have to do? Select the food and just flick it out of the screen into Furby's mouth! LOL you can even feed your Furby your math homework or your old underwear!

Your Furby will chew and let you know whether it likes it or not (via the LED eyes). Different Furbies like different things.

I found it so hilarious that some of the items Furby actually spits back out, back into my iphone screen!

Like if you feed Furby a fortune cookie...

Furby spits out your fortune!! And it changes everytime. You can feed Furby the piece of paper again and Furby will unhappily eat it.

I fed my Furby a pufferfish.

He vomitted a puffed up pufferfish. And I fed him the puffed up pufferfish...

He literally vomitted vomit to me this time. And you guessed it... I fed him his own vomit.

He gave me a different kind of vomit. LOL!!!

Furby, why you so cute??

I love my Furbies!!!

Oh and in case you are wondering, Furbies don't "wake up" unless you play with them, so most of the time my Furbies are just sitting in the corner with their eyes closed, snoozing. Amazingly enough, I haven't had the need to change batteries yet.


Interested to get your own Furby or one for your kid? 

Furbies retail at $119.90 at Toy R Us and major departmental stores, EpiCentre, EpicLife, Nubox, iStudio and selected electronic stores.

You can click HERE for more Furby fun or visit http://www.furby.com to select your favourite Furby colour out of the 10 available!

DID NOT SAY HAVING A RAPIST SON IS OK

Hope the title of the blog entry made it clear. It appears a lot of people are STILL misunderstanding the previous post but quite honestly I've got so much going on in my life right now that I simply do not have the time to do another blog post on it.

Currently my mother in law is in Singapore. I bought a ticket for her a few months ago because I saw my friend write a loving facebook post to her husband and I suddenly had an overwhelming bout of gratitude and guilt about my own husband giving up so much to be with me. He misses his family and friends over in the states and yet here he remains, halfway across the globe, steadfast, more and more locked in to this foreign country as we get our car, our house, and now, our soon-to-be-born baby. And what did I ever do to deserve this much love and sacrifice?

And so at 2am in the morning I was hit with an inspiration to fly my mother in law Ann over, for it is her first time flying so far away from the states and not only will Mike enjoy this immensely, I thought she will too!! I shook Mike awake and asked him for his mom's middle name and birthday - he simply mumbled the answer without asking why, and a few clicks on expedia.com - tickets bought, surprise done!!

It was a feat for everyone to keep this secret from Mike and I must say it all paid off when he looked so completely shocked and happy to see Ann at the airport. I told him we were fetching Cheesie. :D

So for the next few days I'll be playing host to Ann and bringing her around Singapore.

Reading some of the dumb comments infuriates me and I'm trying my darnest to keep my preggie moods pleasant so I didn't even bother to moderate the newer ones.

Whatever... People are so determined to hate on me and accuse me of APPROVING RAPE (like are you SERIOUS?) that no matter what I say, they will still think the same way. I can't be arsed anymore, there are nicer things in life to focus on like seeing my husband beam with pure happiness.

Read two articles on tumblr from sane people supporting what I wrote and I shall repost them here. Perhaps they are more articulate and better at explaining me than me:


From Segnoritaseverywhere:

I agree that her tweet sounded very wrong, and it could be misunderstood by some, hell, it  could be easily misunderstood by everyone. I, in fact, misunderstood it.

But she explained her point of view. I’ve read it ALL, even the links that she included, and I totally get her point of view.

She tweeted that from the point of view of a MOTHER. Of course she didn’t say it was MORALLY better to be a rapist than being a slut. Of course not.

She was saying that it was better as a MOTHER to have a rapist son, than a girl that would be taken advantage of easily by adults. Both are horrible, but what she meant is that having a rapist son would be less painful as a mother. To know that nobody did horrible things to his son, rather than finding out your 11 year old daughter has been deceived by older men to suck their cock and sleep with them.

I suggest you go to her blog and read the post. And if you don’t get her point, I will assume you are stupid, since you would have no reading comprehension.

I’m not saying that you have to agree with her, maybe you prefer having a “slut daughter”(as in 11 year old girl who is being taken advantage of by men); but, heck, it’s not that hard to get her point.

From Aurtora:

About Xiaxue.. I think you guys misunderstood big time. You read this: ”Rapist son better than slut daughter I guess.” and you think this: Xiaxue thinks that sluts are worse than rapists. NO.

Think about it from a mother’s perspective.

I think all girls (should) know there are men who just wants to have sex with you. That’s why we are told not to hop in a random man’s car, not to believe everything they say, to have self respect because we are not just to have sex with! Mothers, of course, tell this stuff to their daughters so they won’t end up some fifty-year-old man’s sex toys. A 11 years old girl can easily fall in love with a man if she’s not told to be careful. To get the girl child in his bed all the man has gotta do is to tell her she’s beautiful and that he’ll love her forever. The girl will believe him cause she’s STILL A KID and she just DON’T KNOW! ”That’s why the law says having sex with girls below 18 is RAPE!” Sexual freedom in my ass seriously…

”At age 11 a girl is not old enough to decide who she should have sex with, know the psychological or physical consequences to having sex nor does she have the ability to take care of a child lest she get pregnant or even have the money for an abortion!” Exactly! The poor girl probably don’t even have her period yet. She should be playing with legos not sucking someone’s dick.

Now if you are a mother and you find out your daughter slept/sleeps with a 40-year-old man, how would you feel? Probably miserable. And you’d probably feel that you FAILED AS A MOTHER because you didn’t teach your child not to trust random men. Now same goes if your son is a rapist: ”I will feel guilty that I raised a monster, disappointed that he turned out this way..” She’s saying that wouldn’t be good either.

BUT

From a parent’s perspective it is worse if your child is taken advantage of: ”Every single parent in the world will tell you the same answer: Given a situation where our child is taking advantage of others or being taken advantage of, we all painfully choose for our children to be the one taking advantage of others!”

Because a mother always loves her child no matter what.
A mother always wishes for her child’s best.

”Would you rather your kid be a murderer or be murdered?! Rapist or be raped? Bully or be bullied? Torturer or tortured? Tycoon or child labourer?”

Get it now? How can a mother rather not want her grown son to be a rapist than her little girl being raped? And you are calling Wendy disgusting when you probably didn’t even understand what she was talking about!!?? Unbelievable! You feel sorry for his unborn son?? He’s lucky to have a brave and honest mother who is not afraid of others opinion!!

Wendy you go girl ♡

all the citations are from Xiaxue’s blog.

Few things more to clarify:


1) Have you played the "Would you rather?" game? Very simple right, you just are made to choose between two horrible choices.

This is the same - Saying "I would rather get Aids than Cancer" is not saying getting cancer is something I will celebrate with champagne.

It means BOTH cancer and aids are really horrible but I find Aids a shade better.

Oh please don't go on and on about how I am insulting the plight of cancer patients now and how they are suffering and I'm insensitive. That was just an example, ok??

So when I say I'd rather have a rapist son than a slut daughter, it means BOTH ARE VERY BAD, I just find one slightly less painful AS A MOTHER.

NOT MORE MORALLY CORRECT MIND YOU. READ THIS TWICE. I DO NOT FIND MY SON RAPING PEOPLE OK. 


2) I used the term "slut" loosely. I know that feminists tend to be very touchy feely about that word but I simply meant it in the dictionary sense:

a. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous. 

IE all females who sleep around easily.

Is it right to call an 11 year old girl who sleeps around a slut? Perhaps not since she is a child who doesn't know what she is doing.

There could be a lot of reasons why very young girls would choose to have sex with many men, and easily so. It could be that they are naive and manipulated, or it could be so they can impress their friends or rebel against their parents. It could also be that they genuinely enjoy sex.

Whatever it is, perhaps it is cruel for an adult to label a young teen as a "slut", but what other euphemism would you call her? I guarantee you "slut" is exactly what all her peers will call her behind her back. Cmon, enough with the political correctness.

Perhaps you guys are offended because the word "slut" has derogatory connotations to it. I'm sorry but I cannot help what society pegs to a word which simply means someone who is promiscuous.

Just because of that (derogatory connotations) I have been accused of saying that a young girl who chooses to have sex readily with old men is entirely at fault - when the feminists think that it is the men who are wrong.

WAIT A MINUTE... Are you serious? You honestly believe that I do not think these leery lecherous dirty old men who prey on young girls are at fault here?! I can't even... No, they should know better and they deserve the worst punishments.

Whether a young girl has blame to share when statutory rape happens no matter how small, well, that's another topic altogether and I am not venturing there. (Do not take this to mean I say they are to blame, I never said so, don't put words into my mouth)

I'm not here to discuss who is at fault or whether an 11 year old girl should be able to have sex with whoever she wants because it is "sexual freedom".

I do not care if you think being a "slut" is ok, new-age liberal females. Not disagree; don't care. Not my problem what you think - you can spread your legs as open as you want, I do not care as long as you don't spread them around my husband (or son I guess).

I am simply telling you guys about whether or not my daughter is at fault for being a "slut", whether it is my poor parenting, her poor decision-making, or the horrible men who take advantage of her readiness, I AM JUST SIMPLY SAYING IT IS HEARTBREAKING AS A PARENT.

And that that sort of pain is worse, personally speaking, than seeing my son rape someone and go to jail for it.

You may disagree and that is fine.


But this isn't a moral discussion. 

This is just me saying which causes me more grief. As a parent.


Can you control what makes you more upset? You can't.

Which would cause you more grief?

Your mother dying or 1,000 innocent babies dying from a war torn country somewhere far away?

If you choose your mom, are you a murderous asshole approving infanticide? If you choose the babies, are you completely unfilial?

Your grief, your choice. 

I won't judge it, so don't judge mine.

 (Said I can't be arsed to blog and blogged a whole long post. Good job me.)